November 30, 2007
Today was another big day. Second ultrasound. We were going to confirm what the first one had shown, and see heartbeats galore. Not so much.... We started freaking out a bit when we couldn't see anything. Surely there had to be something in there. I can't describe the relief when the first gestational sack. Baby "A"! The technician put the sound on, and we could see and hear a strong heartbeat. The heart was flying at what seemed to be about 120 beats/minute. Awesome!!!
But what about the second and third? Baby "B" had become visible larger from a week and half ago, and there was a yolk in the sac, but it was still hard to see anything that resembled the heartbeat we saw on Baby "A". And where did Baby "C" go? Not until the technician did an external ultrasound, could we see the gestational sack. She went back to the internal ultrasound, and through a lot of probing (obviously not to comfortable for L) she finally saw it.
The technician left to present the information to the doctors, and we waiting in the room, in case they needed more pictures. And we waited, and we waited, and we waited a little bit more. "This can't be good", L said. "My thoughts exactly", I replied. Eventually a doctor came back, not the technician. All kinds of alarms went off and flags were risen at that point of course. "So, what's the verdict?".
"Well......., we see one baby with a strong heartbeat and normal growth (obviously talking about Baby "A"). That is good. The third sac is empty. The second baby has a weak and slow heartbeat, and it is very small" the doctor could report. What did weak and slow mean? What should we expect? "You will most likely lose the second one, but one is looking good. That's why you transfer more than one embryo. These things happen".
We walked out of the clinic, not knowing how to feel. We had three, and now we're down to one?!? I know it is extremely selfish to feel disappointed with these news, but we were so convinced that we were having multiples. Having had so many let-downs over the last two years, having more than one was somewhat of a cushion. And now we're down to hoping that Baby "A" (I'm going to have to come up with a better name for him/her, but not yet) will hang on and continue to grow strong. We have not given up on Baby "B" yet. As the nurses told us after the first ultrasound: "One tends to run away from the others, but they eventually catch up". Maybe they're right.
It may sound like I'm in an extremely somber mood right now. That's not the case. We're thrilled to see that one of the babies is developing nicely. Later today, or this evening, I will post a picture from the ultrasound of Baby "A", where you can actually see that the brain is being developed.
I guess I have to change the name of my blog now, huh?
Friday, November 30, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Is there anybody in there?
November 26, 2007
The work week is here again. Back to the grinding stone. We hope that staying busy will make time pass faster, and before we know it Friday will be here. It can't come soon enough.
L is having some thoughts of doubt creep into her head. "Are there any babies in there at all? What if we lost all three of them? I am not feeling anything specific - is that bad?" All I can do is to try to reason with her (not always that easy): "Since we have not seen any spotting of blood, there shouldn't be any reason to worry" and "You seem to take great comfort in the words and advice of the nurses at the fertility clinic. Why don't you give them a call, of only to chat about the way you feel?"
Sometimes you feel so helpless as a husband in these situations. I don't know what she should be feeling, or experiencing. And it seems that nobody else really knows with any kind of certainty, either. One symptom can be a good sign for some, while it means nothing to somebody else. Right now it seems that the lack of symptoms, such as morning sickness etc., is what's bothering L.
The work week is here again. Back to the grinding stone. We hope that staying busy will make time pass faster, and before we know it Friday will be here. It can't come soon enough.
L is having some thoughts of doubt creep into her head. "Are there any babies in there at all? What if we lost all three of them? I am not feeling anything specific - is that bad?" All I can do is to try to reason with her (not always that easy): "Since we have not seen any spotting of blood, there shouldn't be any reason to worry" and "You seem to take great comfort in the words and advice of the nurses at the fertility clinic. Why don't you give them a call, of only to chat about the way you feel?"
Sometimes you feel so helpless as a husband in these situations. I don't know what she should be feeling, or experiencing. And it seems that nobody else really knows with any kind of certainty, either. One symptom can be a good sign for some, while it means nothing to somebody else. Right now it seems that the lack of symptoms, such as morning sickness etc., is what's bothering L.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Thanksgiving has a new meaning
November 24, 2007
The Thanksgiving holiday has been a welcome break. Too bad we didn't get to spend it with the rest of the family, but we sure appreciate the chance to relax. The time off has also given me a chance to try to educate myself a bit more on what we're faced with here. We know that there is always the chance for a natural reduction at this stage in the pregnancy, but we don't let that bother us too much. Friday is going to be another big day!!!
The internet is a great source of information. Maybe too great. Ever since the great news on Tuesday, I've been reading whatever information I could come across on the topic of having a wife who is pregnant with triplets, and what lessons other parents of triplets can teach us.
I've also searched Amazon for books that could be helpful. I've identified a few, but it's hard to know what books to choose. There is always someone who has something negative to say about any given book. So far I've put the following books on my wish list:
If you have any suggestions on what books to read, or what website to visit, feel free to post a comment to this blog.
The Thanksgiving holiday has been a welcome break. Too bad we didn't get to spend it with the rest of the family, but we sure appreciate the chance to relax. The time off has also given me a chance to try to educate myself a bit more on what we're faced with here. We know that there is always the chance for a natural reduction at this stage in the pregnancy, but we don't let that bother us too much. Friday is going to be another big day!!!
The internet is a great source of information. Maybe too great. Ever since the great news on Tuesday, I've been reading whatever information I could come across on the topic of having a wife who is pregnant with triplets, and what lessons other parents of triplets can teach us.
I've also searched Amazon for books that could be helpful. I've identified a few, but it's hard to know what books to choose. There is always someone who has something negative to say about any given book. So far I've put the following books on my wish list:
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If you have any suggestions on what books to read, or what website to visit, feel free to post a comment to this blog.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The "journey" has begun
November 20th, 2007
We were going to the first ultrasound. The 12 and 14 day hCG levels were high at 406 and 897 respectively, and the nurses let us know that this could indicate that there were more than one. As we're walking to the appointment I asked my wife, L, how she was doing. "I think I'm getting a bit scared", she replied. Good thing I wasn't the only one. But, having gone through a series of fertility aiding procedures, and eventually IVF a couple of times, we agreed that the biggest concern was that the hCG levels had given us false expectations, and that we had another failed IVF procedure. The physical strain it puts on the woman, and the mental toll it takes on the both of us, is more than most people can understand.
Since I've created this blog, and given it the name it has, you've probably figured out that the ultrasound went well. Extremely well, some might say. Frightfully well, others may think. So, looking back, some of the thoughts that went through our minds in the minutes and seconds leading up to the moment when the image of the first gestational sack appeared, may seem silly. And then there was a second, and what was that.....a third?!? The ultrasound technician (tech) conducting the ultrasound and sonogram was bombarded with questions from two extremely anxious people, but did her best to be very analytical about the whole thing. She had no idea of what we had gone through, of course.
First we saw some dark circular images on the screen, in the location which had been described to us as the uterus. There seemed to be another one sort of behind and around the first, but it was tough to tell. With further swipes of the ultrasound "wand" the second dark circle split into two. The dark circles were of course the gestational sacks. The tech zoomed in on the first sack, and the image of something inside of the sack appeared. There was some flickering in one area, and before I realized what I was looking at, my wife said: "Is that the heart beating?". A somewhat reluctant "yeaahhh" from the tech was the same as "absolutely" to us at this point. I can not explain to anyone the exact feelings that I felt at that time. Joy......pride.....and definitely relief. We could now see that we were pregnant. My wife described my mood as extremely giddy after this, with a big smile on my face.
The two other gestational sacks were a bit smaller, as is often the case with multiples. You have one that runs away from the other two in the beginning and develops faster than his or her siblings. When the results came back, we learned that there was indeed a visible heartbeat in "sack A", while there was no visible, but rather an audible heartbeat in "sack B". "Sack C" was bringing up the rear of the developmental progress, and it was too early to identify anything more than the sack itself at this time.
We walked from the clinic as if we were walking on air. WE WERE PREGNANT. Can you believe it? Who do we tell!?! I wanted to tell the whole world, but we've been down this road before (but never this far down) and I knew there was a long way to go before we were "in the clear". I called my parents, who were on vacation in Egypt, not thinking for a minute about the fact that the time was about 1AM there, and my parents had been sleeping for a while. My dad answered, obviously tired, and I couldn't figure out why he didn't get as excited as I was. Or bring my mom to the phone. Then I realized that he was half asleep, and was having a tough time just grasping what I was trying to tell him.
That evening we went out to celebrate my birthday. As if we needed to celebrate THAT. I had been given the ultimate birthday present already. Or presents, I should say :)
Now, we have to wait for another week or so until we go back for the second ultrasound. That will tell us if everything is going according to plan, and confirm whether there are indeed three little ones in there or if the third sack has stopped developing and we're left with two.
We were going to the first ultrasound. The 12 and 14 day hCG levels were high at 406 and 897 respectively, and the nurses let us know that this could indicate that there were more than one. As we're walking to the appointment I asked my wife, L, how she was doing. "I think I'm getting a bit scared", she replied. Good thing I wasn't the only one. But, having gone through a series of fertility aiding procedures, and eventually IVF a couple of times, we agreed that the biggest concern was that the hCG levels had given us false expectations, and that we had another failed IVF procedure. The physical strain it puts on the woman, and the mental toll it takes on the both of us, is more than most people can understand.
Since I've created this blog, and given it the name it has, you've probably figured out that the ultrasound went well. Extremely well, some might say. Frightfully well, others may think. So, looking back, some of the thoughts that went through our minds in the minutes and seconds leading up to the moment when the image of the first gestational sack appeared, may seem silly. And then there was a second, and what was that.....a third?!? The ultrasound technician (tech) conducting the ultrasound and sonogram was bombarded with questions from two extremely anxious people, but did her best to be very analytical about the whole thing. She had no idea of what we had gone through, of course.
First we saw some dark circular images on the screen, in the location which had been described to us as the uterus. There seemed to be another one sort of behind and around the first, but it was tough to tell. With further swipes of the ultrasound "wand" the second dark circle split into two. The dark circles were of course the gestational sacks. The tech zoomed in on the first sack, and the image of something inside of the sack appeared. There was some flickering in one area, and before I realized what I was looking at, my wife said: "Is that the heart beating?". A somewhat reluctant "yeaahhh" from the tech was the same as "absolutely" to us at this point. I can not explain to anyone the exact feelings that I felt at that time. Joy......pride.....and definitely relief. We could now see that we were pregnant. My wife described my mood as extremely giddy after this, with a big smile on my face.
The two other gestational sacks were a bit smaller, as is often the case with multiples. You have one that runs away from the other two in the beginning and develops faster than his or her siblings. When the results came back, we learned that there was indeed a visible heartbeat in "sack A", while there was no visible, but rather an audible heartbeat in "sack B". "Sack C" was bringing up the rear of the developmental progress, and it was too early to identify anything more than the sack itself at this time.
We walked from the clinic as if we were walking on air. WE WERE PREGNANT. Can you believe it? Who do we tell!?! I wanted to tell the whole world, but we've been down this road before (but never this far down) and I knew there was a long way to go before we were "in the clear". I called my parents, who were on vacation in Egypt, not thinking for a minute about the fact that the time was about 1AM there, and my parents had been sleeping for a while. My dad answered, obviously tired, and I couldn't figure out why he didn't get as excited as I was. Or bring my mom to the phone. Then I realized that he was half asleep, and was having a tough time just grasping what I was trying to tell him.
That evening we went out to celebrate my birthday. As if we needed to celebrate THAT. I had been given the ultimate birthday present already. Or presents, I should say :)
Now, we have to wait for another week or so until we go back for the second ultrasound. That will tell us if everything is going according to plan, and confirm whether there are indeed three little ones in there or if the third sack has stopped developing and we're left with two.
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