The "journey" has begun

November 20th, 2007

We were going to the first ultrasound. The 12 and 14 day hCG levels were high at 406 and 897 respectively, and the nurses let us know that this could indicate that there were more than one. As we're walking to the appointment I asked my wife, L, how she was doing. "I think I'm getting a bit scared", she replied. Good thing I wasn't the only one. But, having gone through a series of fertility aiding procedures, and eventually IVF a couple of times, we agreed that the biggest concern was that the hCG levels had given us false expectations, and that we had another failed IVF procedure. The physical strain it puts on the woman, and the mental toll it takes on the both of us, is more than most people can understand.

Since I've created this blog, and given it the name it has, you've probably figured out that the ultrasound went well. Extremely well, some might say. Frightfully well, others may think. So, looking back, some of the thoughts that went through our minds in the minutes and seconds leading up to the moment when the image of the first gestational sack appeared, may seem silly. And then there was a second, and what was that.....a third?!? The ultrasound technician (tech) conducting the ultrasound and sonogram was bombarded with questions from two extremely anxious people, but did her best to be very analytical about the whole thing. She had no idea of what we had gone through, of course.

First we saw some dark circular images on the screen, in the location which had been described to us as the uterus. There seemed to be another one sort of behind and around the first, but it was tough to tell. With further swipes of the ultrasound "wand" the second dark circle split into two. The dark circles were of course the gestational sacks. The tech zoomed in on the first sack, and the image of something inside of the sack appeared. There was some flickering in one area, and before I realized what I was looking at, my wife said: "Is that the heart beating?". A somewhat reluctant "yeaahhh" from the tech was the same as "absolutely" to us at this point. I can not explain to anyone the exact feelings that I felt at that time. Joy......pride.....and definitely relief. We could now see that we were pregnant. My wife described my mood as extremely giddy after this, with a big smile on my face.

The two other gestational sacks were a bit smaller, as is often the case with multiples. You have one that runs away from the other two in the beginning and develops faster than his or her siblings. When the results came back, we learned that there was indeed a visible heartbeat in "sack A", while there was no visible, but rather an audible heartbeat in "sack B". "Sack C" was bringing up the rear of the developmental progress, and it was too early to identify anything more than the sack itself at this time.

We walked from the clinic as if we were walking on air. WE WERE PREGNANT. Can you believe it? Who do we tell!?! I wanted to tell the whole world, but we've been down this road before (but never this far down) and I knew there was a long way to go before we were "in the clear". I called my parents, who were on vacation in Egypt, not thinking for a minute about the fact that the time was about 1AM there, and my parents had been sleeping for a while. My dad answered, obviously tired, and I couldn't figure out why he didn't get as excited as I was. Or bring my mom to the phone. Then I realized that he was half asleep, and was having a tough time just grasping what I was trying to tell him.

That evening we went out to celebrate my birthday. As if we needed to celebrate THAT. I had been given the ultimate birthday present already. Or presents, I should say :)

Now, we have to wait for another week or so until we go back for the second ultrasound. That will tell us if everything is going according to plan, and confirm whether there are indeed three little ones in there or if the third sack has stopped developing and we're left with two.